The Friday Chronicle

October 2011

2011-11-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

And what an October it was! Travel was my new best friend this past month.

First stop: Seattle

Not only did I get to spend a fun day out in the city with a large bunch of the Campbell clan, I was also fortunate to attend my cousin Jenny's wedding. It was a perfect, family filled weekend.

Second stop: New York City

SO much to see-- I don't even know where to begin. Phantom of the Opera, Opera at the Met, eating, more eating, Central Park, a protest, Ann Curry obsessing over Noah, and everything else. Thank you Laura and Cort (and Cort's family) for letting me tag along.

Third stop: Long Beach/Disneyland

A little tour of the Queen Mary and a solid visit to Disneyland with the gang was much needed--and just as great as you would imagine. My friends are hilarious and a lot of fun to travel with.

The Jim...

2011-08-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Well I'm back at the gym. Mostly I prefer working out while doing something outside-- it's prettier and I tend to do my best thinking... but this is also a problem because I walk at slower paces, stop to look at flowers, and then I wind up sitting on the grass. To get a solid workout I've come to realize that I rely on the gym and the intimidation of working out among extremely fit people. I really do dread the gym though and it is because of the:

1. Humidity. Not nature's humidity, but human humidity. This means that people are sweating and breathing and releasing gases and it stresses me out.

2. Noises. All sorts of hideous noises that those making them should be embarrassed about. They're not. I could be making a huge storm of noises while working out but my problematic pride and sense of decency keeps it all in.

3. Sweaty machines. Maybe 10% of machine users wipe down after use.

4. Heavy lifters. Certain men who go straight to the weight room to lift a thousand pounds above their head... yes, strong. Here's the problem guys-- you end up looking a little off balance with huge, broad shoulders and arms, but tiny little legs. Do some cardio too. PS. You are the culprits behind the worst of the worst noises.

5. Women who work out in dangly earrings.

...number 6. Number 6 is my new friend Jim (hence the title)... Oh Jim. He's no spring chicken. I'd say he's at least, LEAST in his late 70s and he's in love with me. Usually men like this don't bother me so much because they are more of a grandfatherly type that want to compliment and offer advice. Not Jim. The fact that I actually look like a sweaty teenage boy at the gym seems to escape his attention completely. On several occasions he has mentioned that he wants a younger wife, he loves brown-haired girls, and he could give me all the security I need, financially speaking. This has forced me to create a really fancy lie about how I'm engaged to a younger man who has lots of money and we might be moving to Europe. Yeah I've taken it way too far. Oh and Jim can't ever remember my name. Most days he calls me Kimmy, but every now and then I'm Emmy, Emily, Angie, today I was Annie. Close Jim, real close.

On a totally different note-- I want to give Amanda a BIG birthday shout-out. XO!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Have a great Tuesday everybody.

Thoughts for Friday

2011-08-05T11:42:00.001-07:00

Is it just me or does paste just not taste as good as it used to?...

*If you don't know where that quote comes from then you haven't lived.

I'm writing this from my office at Barnes and Noble cafe. This time it is the B&N off of Fort Union. Unfortunately I've come after the lunch hour when, apparently, Cookie Monster eats a million cookies at every table, leaving a sea of crumbs on every chair and in every crevice. Oh Cookie Monster.

I had a dream last night that I cut my hair to chin length. I love short hair on girls, and if you are reading this right now and have chin length hair I probably love it on you... However, I have not been blessed with easy going, do what you want kind of hair. I have inherited my father's horse textured, massive, velcro mane. Anytime I put a mustache on myself (yes, this has happened more than you'd think) I unmistakably resemble Harry Potter's Hagrid. I've always had a soft spot for him because of this. Back to the chin length nightmare... It was horrendous. I think I'll keep it long for a good long while.

What's the worst thing about going for a walk/run on a trail that loops around you ask? That answer is easy-- seeing the same people pass by and feeling obligated to say "Hi" and then both giggling a little bit to cover up what you're really thinking: If I have to pass you, say "hi" and giggle one more time I'm going to ____________ (insert most dramatic, upsetting thing you can think of).

Last thought of the day: The best movies were made in the 70s and 80s. Don't argue with me. Everything else is just trying a bit too hard. If you need proof of this why don't you go see Cowboys and Aliens or Captain America. Not both, you might explode.

P.S. This is Jimmy McMillan, a real politician. The beard is real too. America!

Driving

2011-07-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

I've never been a "car person..." (car person= a person who border line has romantic feelings for cars and knows what "horse power" means). No, I'm not a car person... I just love a good drive. Seriously. A drive up and down the Wasatch Mtn range listening to music or just sitting in silence is my idea of an awesomely good time. If someone is with me, even better.

A few things I've observed about drivers and driving:

I believe that everyone's true self comes out on the road. I laughed about this thought out loud the other day while driving. I mean think about it-- we are confined to one, two, three lanes at most, and limited to the speed we can go. Lights tell us to stop, orange cones direct us, and yield signs force us to be kind. Yet with all the rules on the road we still have the freedom to flip someone off at a 4-way stop, ride another car's bumper, and honk at a bicyclist drifting into traffic (disclaimer: I do none of these... correction-- I try not to do any of these). Because we are safely within the confines of our own car it somehow makes outrageous behavior acceptable and then quickly forgotten. Are we closet angry people?

Speed says a lot about drivers and definitely goes hand in hand with the type of car driven. I'll be the first to admit that the very second a van of any kind pulls in front of me I am immediately outraged and swerve into the next lane. If any of you are psychologist or analytical in anyway please analyze that and also what it means if I feel the need to be the first to punch my gas and take off at a green light, leading the pack of cars behind me...Every Single Time. Posible control issues, yeah probably. And vans... issues with inevitably needing one someday? Also yes, probably.

Music and driving, what a good combination that can turn so wrong so fast. Example: The other day I pulled up to a light and the fella in the next lane is listening to grunge music so loud that I can feel it pulsing through my steering wheel and subsequently into my head. I won't tolerate grunge and believe only the worst kind of people enjoy it (many of whom are faking it)... but without warning I'm sucked into this guy's world. He looks over at me banging his head and assuming that I'm seeing life through his eyes. Green light-- eat my dust.

Lately I've considered the idea of flying lessons just to take this whole experience to the sky. Most likely that won't happen for a while-- if it even does... I still believe that planes are held up by magic.

My last thoughts on driving: always buckle up, and remember that car stickers are like body tattoos-- most if not all are regrettable.

A Conversation

2011-07-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

This is the conversation I had with Anna this morning while getting ready:

Me: What if I gave you a pet spider for your birthday? That would be fun.

Anna: I'd flush it down the toilet.

Me: But what if I spent $200 on it?

Anna: That doesn't matter. A spider would be the ultimate worst present that anyone could ever give me... and I was once given a plaid shirt from Hollister.

Worth Watching

2011-07-07T16:44:00.000-07:00

TV these days is more of a nuisance than anything. However, these I will watch:

Thank goodness for PBS, I guess.

Happy 4th!

2011-07-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I am repeating this post from the last 4th of July, but I just can't get enough of Langston Hughes-- my favorite American.

The Negro Speaks of Rivers

I've known rivers:

I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the flow of blood in human veins.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.

I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.

I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.

I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln went down to New Orleans,

and I've seen its muddy bosom turn all golden in the sunset.

I've known rivers:

Ancient, dusky rivers.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

Scott Campbell, what a guy!

2011-06-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day-- to the greatest dad in the world. Truly. The picture above is of my dad playing in the stream in our backyard. Okay, maybe not "playing"... more like rearranging rocks to prevent a flood. But that's just the kind of dad he is-- always rearranging things to make life easier and better for his family. You really are the best and I love you!

Life on the Farm

2011-06-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to learn as much as I can about farm life (until I have one of my own), I have joined a group of volunteers at Ching Farm Rescue & Sanctuary. It's possible that some of my funniest and finest stories may come from this experience.

My first day on duty was spent training with the pigs. I don't know that I can adequately express how delightful and interesting pigs are. I think I was in a constant state of shock and laughter while trying to feed, water, clean and play with the pigs. Most of them have teen angst (seriously) and refuse to come out of their pens, only to eat. My favorite pig, Curtis, lives in a pen all by himself because he doesn't socialize well due to previous and abusive owners. Curtis sleeps in longer than anyone other animal on the farm, and to get him out to eat one has to slowly open his pen and let the sunlight stream in gently. "Wake up Curtis... time to get up..." He lifts his head and opens one eye... obviously annoyed that you woke him. "Don't you want breakfast??" He opens his other eye and his eyebrows raise... "Yes, you want breakfast." He takes about 15 minutes to realize that he has legs and can walk. Finally, he makes his way into the sunlight and grunts with more annoyance. Oh Curtis, you make me want a farm even more.

So yes, I'm one of those people who loves animals almost more than people. Farming seems so rewarding in so many ways. I also think it provides one of the best forms of physical exercise-- the way we were meant to exercise. Really. I can't wait to have my own little farm someday. Everyone and their dog is invited ;)

I saved a bee today.

2011-05-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

As I swirl my toe around in the water at the edge of the pool in my back yard, I try to focus on the ever growing ripples and the reflection of colors as the water moves. Beep boop bop. No, too much to think about. Darn. I used to be good at relaxing.

For the past four months my mind has been running on adrenaline, skipping from thought to thought. I have student teaching to thank for this.

Instead of concentrating on the water, my mind thinks about what my students might be working on this very minute. Wondering if Trent is acting calm today...did Jose turn in his last assignment...is Hattie back from being sick for way too long... did the supply order of glue ever ship... beep boop bop.

Now that my semester has ended I suddenly feel oddly guilty for not having to think constantly and acting quickly. If I wanted to, I could sleep in a little... eh, feels weird. I could stare at my ceiling and listen to music for hours if I felt like it... but why would I? Forcing myself to unwind and relax a little has been way more difficult than it should be.

So here I am... jumping from thought to thought, and there he is out of the corner of my eye. A bee. He's struggling in the water, moving with the kicking waves I've now created with both feet. Immediately I slide deeper into the pool with my hand outstretched to scoop him up, but soon realize this could backfire with a sting. Instead I reach back and grab my flip flop to elevate him from the water and place him on the pavement next to me. No movement. I panic a little. With my finger I give him a little nudge away from the puddle he's created and he quickly springs to life, flicking water off his wings and away he goes. Just like that, he's gone. I feel a little hurt, somewhat expecting that he would fly up eye level with me and nod his antennae in gratitude of my efforts.

I felt so involved and then immediately cut off from his life. A metaphor to student teaching perhaps.

Beeb boop bop. So here I am, trying to relax. Attempting to get my own ducks in a row after months of attempting to keep 150 pre-teen ducks in a row. This isn't easy. Thankfully I'll be here in a couple of weeks with the family, and I can't help but think relaxing will come naturally when all I have to worry about is the swim suit I'll wear that day.

Boy oh boy.

A fun little side story: Last weekend while I was in Sedona, my friend and I decided to get our aura photos taken and read by an energy psychic. I realize how hippie-like and crazy this may sound, but those of you who know me wouldn't expect anything less. This is my aura photo:

*You'll have to ignore the hovering shadow of me leaning over and taking a picture of the aura.

Notice the massive amount of yellow.. apparently this means that my mind has been overstimulated with analytical thinking and organization. The energy lady asked me if I had been doing any kind of workshop or internship (hello-- student teaching). She also mentioned that the red and pink surrounding the yellow is my suppressed artistic creativity which she said will come back in focus soon. Interesting. The green at the bottom indicates that I'm anticipating a big change in the near future, such as career change or moving. Both in my case. And last of all, the brown at the center represents my reliance on nature and the earth to stay centered and happy. She suggested I keep a small farm in order to maintain my happiness. I was kind of blown away by how accurate everything was, and I didn't say a word throughout the entire thing. I didn't even give her my name. Not that I suggest you get one taken and live or die by this kind of thing, but it is interesting what our energy says about ourselves.

The end.

Sedona and Jerome

2011-05-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

I took a little trip north to Sedona and the ghost town of Jerome, AZ this past weekend with a dear friend. Below are some photos of our adventure. Naturally, I cried standing atop one of the rocks in Sedona... I mean look at it! I highly suggest going for a weekend if you're a fan of fun and beauty.

Jerome

Sedona

Fun Things

2011-04-10T11:30:00.001-07:00

These are my two favorite things that happened to me this week:

This gal's new blog

and this little golden nugget:

p.s. yes, the sassy kid dancing up a storm is indeed Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Crazy Irish

2011-03-17T14:31:00.001-07:00

A great scene from one of Ireland's finest films: Waking Ned Devine

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I have a new love...

2011-03-14T14:04:00.000-07:00

My iphone. How sad is it that I love something so nonhuman. I've held off as long as possible with technology, but my old phone just wasn't doing it for me anymore... and it was this terrible maroon/red colored phone that I could barely handle putting near my face. Don't get me started with the color maroon.

Now I carry so much power at my fingertips... so much so that it kind of scares me. I'm fascinated enough with the fact that I can have a phone and ipod in one, let alone the millions of apps available. Amazing.

Sorry to all of those who I ignore during my first week with my iphone... we have a lot of getting to know each other to do. Kidding-- I really don't want to be that kind of person-- eh, but I make no promises.

Happy Birthday Laura!

2011-03-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

I've never known anyone so caring and loving as you. Thank you for being the best big sister I could ever ask for, and for always looking out for me. I love you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

p.s. sweet bangs.

Teaching

2011-03-06T15:35:00.000-08:00

Student teaching has been an up and down emotional roller coaster for me. I have learned that teachers hardly sleep, bring work home with them, and are greatly underpaid. However, there are so many rewarding aspects of teaching, and especially for art teachers. Perhaps my favorite part of teaching is just getting to know the kids and having conversations with them about life. Granted, you ask a junior high student about life and 9 times out of 10 you're going to hear about either Justin Bieber or Playstation. But still, great little conversations.

Last week one of my special ed. students came up and pulled me aside to tell me all about Mary Poppins. I learned what year it was made, that his grandparents went on a date to the movie, the release date of the special edition DVD... oh and it went on. I loved it though, he was so into Mary Poppins. So much so, that he drew this and gave it to me at the end of class:

It doesn't take much for me to get choked up over children's art work, and this one did it for me. So, so sweet.

P.S. I've started a new blog entitled the paleo project. It's a work in progress, but check it out and give me shout-outs of support throughout my paleo journey ;)

Listen.

2011-02-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

If you know me well, you know I have a dream of learning the banjo. When this happens, this song will be the first I play:

The Youth

2011-02-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

I love to poke fun at my students who are obsessed with Justin Bieber. I love to tell them that he's a toddler, or a hologram. I'm totally weirded out by the whole "Bieber fever" thing, but then I'm reminded of my youth...

Behold, a journal entry of mine from junior high-- heads up for the exclamation points after every sentence:

June 17, 2000

5 handsome, charming, and talented young men from all over America, each with a passion for singing and a dream of stardom come to Salt Lake City's Rice-Eccles stadium to give Utah the best night of their life!

Yes! NSYNC finally came! It is Saturday, June 17, 2000! I will go through the whole day w/ you! I woke up this morning excited as heck! I was going to go to the NSYNC concert at 7:30 w/ Katherine Wheatley, Heather Crowley, and Ashley McKell!

It was such a long time until I went to the concert so I wanted to kill some time, but I didn't want to get ready yet because I didn't want to ruin my clothes for the concert! So I played on the computer, played w/ Greeley, practiced the piano, sat by my window for an hour, cleaned my room, listened to NSYNC on my CD player! By this time it was about 3:45! So I decided to slowly get ready! I took a bath, shaved my legs, put lotion all over me, washed my hair, put my hair up, ironed my shirt, and by this time it was almost 5:00! Katherine was going to be here to pick me up at 5:30 so I hurried and go all my stuff together!

(I'll skip some details and get to a great, great part)

We waited for what seemed like hours and then Pink was supposed to be the opening act but she was sick, so instead they had a guy named Presley sing and then another guy named Ron. It made me made because they didn't even have Sisqo sing and he was supposed to!!

(Skipping ahead)...

They interacted with us so much and they made us feel special! They have my respect and I love them and I love my friends! BYE BYE BYE!

A real choice time in life, as you can see.

To all the fictitious men I ever loved.

2011-02-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

In order from my first love to my latest, Happy Valentine's Day...

Dear Anna,

2011-02-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

I know you're going to greatly dislike that I'm posting this picture of you, but I can't resist. You're just too beautiful for your own good... both inside and out.

Happy 20th!!!

John Stephen Akhwari

2011-02-01T16:52:00.000-08:00

I don't know where I've been my whole life to have never seen this video before now...

Anyway, it's touching and very uplifting.

Handshakes: firm, dry, solid. 3 seconds

2011-01-22T16:54:00.001-08:00

Beep-boop I realize I'm posting this on a Saturday when I foolishly declared that I'd only write on Fridays... but that's not going to happen.

As I write this I am also sitting in the breakfast nook of my little home in Arizona, watching the sunset go down, with the windows open! I'm still not used to warm winters. I'm sorry if I'm rubbing it in a bit for the Utah folk who read this... in the cold. I'm just trying to put out some incentives for you to come down and see me. Come on down.

Anyway, here are a few of my favorite events from this past week that brought much anticipation for the weekend:

I taught a painting lesson and, obviously, did not want to get paint all over my nice pants--so I decided to wear an old pair. During class I overheard some boys saying "she's totally wearing mom jeans."

Yesterday, I'm in the middle of a lesson when out of nowhere a bat swooped in front of my face and then proceeded to fly around the room for 20 minutes. I remained pretty calm, I don't mind bats. Alfredo (the custodian) finally arrived and chased it into the office. This totally freaked me out because I keep all my things in the office. Out of instinct I shouted loudly "my food!!!" Apparently I'm more afraid of not being able to eat lunch than I am of a bat touching my face.

I went hiking and climbed up a rock just to jump off of it. I rolled my ankle when I landed, and I am so happy nobody was there to witness it.

Those are the highlights. Nothing too crazy, but I did laugh a lot this week.

Have a happy weekend.

To the Weekenders,

2011-01-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

"Wake me up when the holidays are over."

-Anna Campbell

As funny and boldly true as that sentence is, Christmas break was much needed and greatly appreciated. My motto upon returning home for the holiday season went something like this:

Hey it's okay, be five again.

and:

Go ahead, wear those stretch pants in public.

also:

Food. Go nuts.

Alas, all good breaks must come to an end. Upon returning to Arizona I wrestled with the realization that student teaching this semester is inevitable if I want to graduate. So here I am, it's Friday, and I just completed my first week of student teaching. So far-- so good. Here's what I've learned thus far:

1. Junior High is a perfect place for someone like me who forgets to wear deodorant on a regular basis, because guess what-- so do all the children. Stench-city, USA

2. Teachers really do live at school. No, I'm serious.

3. Pre-teens will tell you if you are having a bad hair day.

4. I am the size of a pre-teen.

5. Teachers are generally confused and bewildered as much, if not more, than the students.

6. Stay out of the teacher's lounge. Gossip Girl times one billion.

7. I have a tendency to want to cradle my students on my lap when they are having a rough day... don't worry, I resist. Motherly inclinations.

8. Grades don't make sense in art.

9. I'm going deaf.

10. I have called students "Hun" more than I care to admit this week.

Here's to the weekend. May I (and us all) rest in peace.

Happy Friday!

Mountain Goats

2010-12-17T14:16:00.000-08:00

Photo by National Geographic

Every time I see this picture I kind of don't believe it.

First of all, how did he get there? I mean really! Secondly, why? According to science (source: unimportant), a mountain goat's immune system relies on the salty minerals received from licking the rock face found only in the most rugged of mountain ranges. Look at what he is willing to do for survival! Amazing. I feel a metaphor coming on...

No, I'll spare you.

Ah, the weekend. Ah, Christmas break. This past week has been delightful for several reasons:

No school/zero homework
Much needed visits with family and friends
Sleeping in an adult-sized bed
Snow
The Food Network and Cooking Channel
Going on errands with my Mom-- we are the same person

Of course, since time seems to go faster than I would like it to, I will be back in Arizona in no time. My goal is to take this next semester like a mountain goat. Just do it. Get to that salt, lick it, and graduate.

Until then, you can find me in my stretchies, snapping my fingers to a real jazzy holiday beat.

Happy Friday!

Blog Title Change

2010-12-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I feel that I have to explain myself...

I grew tired of my blog's old name, so this is the new one. I'm only blogging on Fridays from now on (starting this Friday)-- thus the new title.

Peace out.
Amy

Good ol' Westerns

2010-12-04T22:40:00.001-08:00

I'm almost more excited to see this movie than I am for Christmas. Now that's silly.

The Paleo Solution

2010-12-04T11:44:00.001-08:00

Those who know me fairly well know that I have stomach issues all the time. I'm not talking about self-conscious issues about my weight (well, sometimes), but rather the food that I put in my stomach that makes me curl up in the fetal position, rubbing away the churning in my poor tummy. For almost a year now I have been eating a gluten-free diet. I'll be honest and say that I'm nearly 100% gluten free when I'm down here in Arizona and focusing on school, but when I go home to Utah-- for whatever reason-- I tend to sneak a little bread and whatnot into my meals. It's terrible, and it really does make me sick.

To top of this madness, I'm also sensitive to dairy (I know, I know... I sound like a hypochondriac), but this is all true. Unfortunately, for the last year I have nearly doubled my dairy intake to make up for the lack of gluten. Bad idea, even worse results. SO, for a little over a week I have strictly followed the Paleo Diet. My brother, who is a health and fitness guru these days, lent me a copy of the book so that I could read up on the basics before diving in-- a good idea before making any huge lifestyle changes. These are the basic guidelines of the Paleo way:

No Dairy
No Gluten
No sugar or salt (sea salt acceptable in small portions)
Basically, nothing processed or unnatural

But instead...

Lots of lean protein
Seasonal fruits and vegetables
Healthy fats such as nuts, seeds, and avocado

And that is my current intake of food.

The idea is that we should be eating the way our Paleolithic ancestors did before altered foods entered the diet and started making us sick.

I'm good on the gluten free lifestyle, I'm fine without it... but dairy, oh my lovely dairy. I dare say I'm the biggest cheese fan west of Wisconsin. Giving up all things diary has been a trial for me; but there is good news: As a result of strictly following the Paleo for a little over a week, I have...

Bought more fresh produce than ever before
More energy for working out
Had less headaches
Been stomachache free for a little over a week (this hasn't been the case for as long as I can remember)
Been less hungry
Increased my energy
Improved my vision (weird, but yes)
Upped my positive mood levels

I'm not trying to sell this diet, I know it's not for everyone. And who knows, a month from now I could eat my words by breaking the rules and downing a string cheese. But for now, I'm totally happy with the Paleo.

It makes me feel good.

***Funny enough-- the thing I crave most from the dairy list is chocolate. Let's see how I do around all the Christmas goodies. Stay strong.

I spy a bum groove.

2010-11-30T13:46:00.000-08:00

Having survived the wonderful week of Thanksgiving (it really was great), I feel that I should say a few words about being thankful. I'm not one to make a sappy post, really-- so to start this off I'm going to list a few small things that make me want to explode:

1. Walking behind someone, trying to get around them, but they keep swerving in front of you... almost as if on purpose.

2. Listening to a great song while driving and the person in the passenger seat changes it before it finishes playing.

3. Discovering a bum groove on my bed, where someone sat.

4. Trying to pull apart the opening of a plastic produce bag at the grocery store.

5. Wind.

6. Static.

7. Gulping noises.

8. Hair on the bathroom floor.

Now really, only #3 will truly make me lose it. I guess I'm trying to make a point here-- and that is that all these things are so ridiculous, yet sometimes I treat them like it's the end of the world. I have a billion things to be thankful for. Here's a small list of great things:

1. Family that supports and loves me no matter what.

2. Friends who are literally angels.

3. An education.

4. Creativity.

5. Nature, oh my beautiful Mother Nature.

6. America.

7. My beliefs (see first link to the right).

8. Opportunities.

Sappy? Probably-- but 'tis the season.

Happy Holidays!

Happy Birthday Kim!

2010-11-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

This is just one of the many sacrifices you have made for a good time. I sure do love you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Farewell, my friend.

2010-11-17T13:36:00.001-08:00

Greeley

July 15, 1998- November 15, 2010

'Tis pity not to have a dog, whatever be his breed,
For dogs possess a faithfulness which humans sadly need.
And whether skies be blue or gray, good luck or ill attend
Man's toil by day, a dog will stay his ever-constant friend.

-Edgar A. Guest

Save the neck for me, Clark.

2010-11-15T17:29:00.000-08:00

As much as I would love to push the "fast forward" button for this week and land on Saturday evening where I'll be in the happiest place on earth... alas, I cannot. Fast forwarding life only works when there's a real emergency, such as unexpectedly finding yourself at a Carrot-top comedy show, or getting stuck in an elevator with Kathy Griffin. Both scenarios are basically the same nightmare.

Speaking of dreams.. I feel it's time to officially record the most hilarious dream I've ever had about myself. Hold on to your hats, it's a doozy:

The whole neighborhood, including my entire family, was at church setting up fall displays for a "fall festivities night." My family decided to set up a table dedicated to the cornucopia. We were decorating when suddenly the room went quiet... in walked one of my best friends with a doll dressed as the devil. She set the doll on a table and exclaimed to all that it represented what fall means to her. Everyone was looking around at each other feeling fairly uneasy. I knew that I had to say something. I grabbed a chair, stood on it, and said loudly:

"Family, friends, and neighbors... I feel that I must address the situation. Satan is among us."

Thousands (and I mean thousands, possibly more) start clapping, cheering, and shouting my name. A neighbor of mine reached for my hand and told me I was a "leader and very brave."

The best part is that I woke up and I was perched up in bed with my hand raised in the air.

I know exactly what I did-- I pulled any random thoughts out of nothing to create a dream to glorify myself. Any plot was acceptable. I laughed and laughed about this for such a long time.

Oh dreams.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving next week. Utah-- I'm coming home.

October

2010-11-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

October was a fun month, as it always is.

I had a visit from my good friend, Brittany. We mostly shopped and ate, but we couldn't deny ourselves something frightening... and although I've sworn off ghosts since the Tombstone incident, we decided to go on a ghost tour of the old Hotel San Carlos in downtown Phoenix. Bad idea. Nothing scary happened, it was just weird. A woman dressed as a pirate approached us and said that she has just seen a vision of a man, wearing a top hat AND a cape, looming over us from behind. I then turned to my right and saw an awkward teenage girl feeling the walls and closing her eyes. Her father explained to all that she senses the dead. We left early, but here's a fun picture of us in the hotel:

I then had the great pleasure of flying out to Texas to visit my older sister, her husband, and my new little nephew. I can't even begin to explain how perfect of a baby boy he is. The trip started off a little crazy, and my flight was delayed 6 hours-- which put me in Dallas around 1:30am. I was supposed to meet my dad and younger sister at the airport, but due to my obnoxious delay, I took a cab. However, I poorly chose my cab driver and he took me to hell and back before we reached the hotel. Things got 1000% better when I saw this lil' face the next morning:

To celebrate Halloween, my housemates and I threw a pumpkin party. This meant that everyone was expected to bring a pumpkin dish of some sort and a pumpkin for carving. I was asked to make Pumpkin Juice... and after repeatedly denying that it was even a thing, I found a recipe that turned out pretty great:

Here's a picture of my pumpkin. I accidently made him look like a pervert:

November, welcome.

Oh, you.

2010-10-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

Every Saturday I teach a couple classes for a children's art workshop at ASU. Working with all the adorable little kids has quickly become a favorite part of my week. A couple of weeks ago I was cleaning up from my last class of the day and one of my younger girls stayed after to help. This was our conversation, and none of it is exaggerated:

Me: So what are you going to do with the rest of your day?

Student: Ah Miss, I'm going to organize my toy box and then probably go to a movie with my mom. I bet you're happy I'm helping you clean.

Me: Yes, I'm very happy you're helping. I think we've done a pretty good job.

Student: That's because I'm good at cleaning and we're the same size, so it's like two of you cleaning. I'm tall for my age. (...And she is)

Me: (Laughing) You're right, it is like two of me cleaning.

Student: Miss, what you got going on the rest of the day?

Me: Well, I think...

Student: I bet you going to go home, kick off those old shoes, throw up your feet, have some chocolate milk and watch something nice on the television. Maybe take a nap too? Maybe you'll go on a date, but not if you have children. Do you have children, Miss? I think you might be 40. That's how old my mom is. You both have...

Me: Alright, just keep drying off those paint pallets.

Living the Dream

2010-10-10T19:03:00.000-07:00

This past week I was at the gym and worked myself into a feverish sweat only 2 minutes into my treadmill walk. I jumped off to grab a towel from the "clean" bin and instead snatched one from the "dirty" bin... I immediately put it to my face and soaked myself in someone else's sweat before I realized what had happened.

Have a great upcoming week!

October

2010-10-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

theselby.com

I'm one of those wacky individuals who, on the eve of my birthday, sets my alarm clock for 12am- midnight only to wake up and whisper "happy birthday" to myself. Actually no, I'm not that obsessed with being me. I just happened to have been born on the first day of October-- the greatest month of the year. So don't celebrate me, celebrate the month of the spooky, the changing of leaves, and for goodness sake-- the candy corn.

Now that I'm a year older, I feel that I've learned a few things:

1. There is no such thing as an endless supply of toilet paper under the sink, you actually have to go out and buy it.

2. You can pretty much get away with pretending to know anything as long as you talk with with scary, arched eyebrows and pound your fists on tables.

3. Even sticky notes on the mirror won't remind me to put on deodorant.

4. McDonald's employee, Jiminez, at the cross section of Chandler and Kyrene, will always give me a free diet coke. Sweet Jiminez.

5. Things like haircuts, waxes, and pedicures are no longer weekly rituals, but once a year luxuries.

6. Mom and Dad have been right all along.

7. Dating only continues to be more terrifying.

8. Where there's one gray hair atop thine head, thrice over t'will more spread.

9. If a British accent pops out unexpectedly while checking out at the grocery store, go with it-- and then walk it out. You're only human.

10. Scary movies are just as terrifying now as they ever were before. And yes, I'm talking about E.T.

11. Saturday Night Live gives better and more accurate news updates than actual news programs.

12. The 90s were as great as I thought they were.

...and finally:

13. Friends was never really that funny.

Happy Birthday Cort!

2010-09-30T10:31:00.001-07:00

Have I ever told you how much I adore you? We all do. Thanks for being an A+ brother-in-law.

Happy Birthday!!!

This is one of the three things I like: Ina Garten, sweater weather and...

2010-09-27T14:59:00.001-07:00

To me nothing is better in this world than laughing uncontrollably with another person. There is something so bonding about laughter, and I wish for it on a daily basis. I love when I come upon a random stranger who is laughing really, really hard, and I instantly start laughing equally as hard because, apparently, laughter is contagious.

I remember a few years back my family and I were at the airport, and as we were going up the escalator we passed this older couple coming down-- they were hysterical. Laughing so hard that the older gentleman was doubled over and his wife was trying to hold him up from falling. Tears streaming down their faces... how could you not laugh with them? And we did. My entire family was crying with laughter. The couple looked at us and reached out to grab our hands as they wiped away tears, understanding that we understood. I'll never know what they were laughing about, but it's one of my favorite memories.

This video below made me laugh pretty hard, it might do the same to you. This is the Swiss Finance Minister attempting to deliver a speech about spiced meat imports. The ridiculous bureaucratic word choices get to him only seconds into it. It's worth watching.

Katherine, Happy Birthday!

2010-09-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

I really hope this is what our future holds... the two of us holding each other.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

To all others,

This is a still frame from a film we shot back in high school. We had the time of our lives, obviously.

The Airport

2010-09-22T15:48:00.001-07:00

I basically put myself in a coma from the second I arrive at the check-in desk, until I'm sitting safely at the gate, waiting to board. That whole process in between makes me want to give the person in front of me an atomic wedgie and then turn around and punch the air. I've learned to control my mob-like mentality when going through security and instead-- let it all wash over me in complete denial.

So here I am at the gate, quite early. Thank you Mom and Dad for instilling in me a desire to be a whole 2 hours early to the airport, even on a dead Wednesday.

I'm now mentally prepping myself for the chatty Kathy I'm almost always guaranteed to sit next to, and to my other side-- the mouth breather with a full on Arby's dinner and a magazine that most certainly went into the bathroom with the owner.

Happy Birthday Bry!

2010-09-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

You're 30!

Like a fine wheel of cheese, you only getting better with age.

You're also a wonderful brother, and I love you-- Happy Birthday!

Daisy

2010-09-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

Daisy May Campbell

February 1991- September 2010

You will be greatly missed, my sweet Daisy.

You can't force the fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.

2010-09-09T13:20:00.001-07:00

It's Thursday. Today I took a little trip to the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art with my lovely cousin Katie and her darling children-- great exhibit and great company! It's wonderful having family nearby.

Phone call story of the year:

Earlier this week my roommate received a phone call, she answered it only to discover a stranger on the other end-- a man, sounded mid 20s and Black. She explains to him that he dialed the wrong number and they hang up. Only a moment later she receives a text from this guy and it says:

"I like the sound of your voice. Girl-- go on wit' ya bad self!"

I laughed myself to tears.

Also, these are some of the major headliners in the news this week:

Teen survives Justin Bieber-inspired death threats
Most of us think we're hotter than average, survey says
Breast-enlarging ring tone?
Dance your way into her heart. With science! Study identifies all the right moves: It's all in the right knee, neck, torso
Shares of Spam & gas masks soar
Are Heidi & Spencer bored with the USA?

Happy Thursday!

Oh Tom..

2010-09-07T11:20:00.000-07:00

Very rarely do I ever find any genre of Mormon humor entertaining, but I think this one is pretty funny. Tom Cruise's intensity is captivating.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2010-09-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

You really are my favorite gal to spend time with, and I sure do love you!!

Noah Cortney Nelson

2010-09-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome, Nephew

2010-09-01T15:23:00.000-07:00

My darling sister just had her sweet, little baby boy today! Welcome to the world, *little guy. Can't wait to see you and hug you!

*no name yet.

Pictures to come!

I feel it appropriate to celebrate with this song:

A Call for Good Drivers

2010-08-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

I took this photo today while stopped on an off-ramp. Pretty sure this happened because someone was texting while driving, or something related. A young girl was carried away on a stretcher, in a neck brace. Let's all be safe drivers and not get distracted-- accidents on the road can easily be prevented.

If I didn't have a live dove in my pants right now, I'd leap across the table and...

2010-08-25T19:34:00.001-07:00

Boy oh boy, I'll just dive right in.

This week I started a new semester at ASU. Things have been crazy since a new load of Freshman were dumped on campus. Clothing appears to be unpopular these days.. unless you own a neon, highlighter-colored shirt that juxtaposes awesomely against your impossibly brown skin, then you're fine.

I passed some younger girls on campus today and this was their conversation:

"So Jessica totally gave me this look, but I know that look and she's totally jealous. I mean, I'm not trying to be rude, but she doesn't work out and I do. So..."

I wish I was making this up, honestly.

Also, while on campus, I was in line at the Jamba Juice avoiding the heat. A gang of sun devils lined up behind me-- the fellas were large, extremely muscular-- but the type of muscular that doesn't make sense because they still have baby faces. The girls were...typical. Their conversation topic of choice was absolutely disgusting and degrading, so I did what I always do in this kind of situation: I turned my head and gave the up and down look.. real sassy on my part. One of the fellas responds:

"She totally checked me out, haha dude she wanted this."

Awesome.

Today I was driving to the gym and happened to be behind a huge, black truck that had a sticker on the rear window that said: Nasty Boyz Drive Nasty Toyz

Yesterday while at the gym a slender guy with a sparse mustache approached me while I was on the rowing machine.

Guy: "Might I suggest some moves that will allow for a more explosive workout?"

Me: "Of course you can."

I started a new class last night that is FIVE HOURS LONG. Yes, five hours. The professor (who I can only describe as a flamboyant, cartoon polar bear) wears girl sandals and doesn't cut his toe nails.. ever. I can't even begin to tell you how disturbing this becomes after FIVE HOURS.

Today I was sitting in my room doing my makeup. I opened up the blinds to let all the sunlight in so that I could blend everything perfectly (I realize how this sounds, but it's absolutely true). While applying my makeup I was also in a robe and my hair was wrapped in a towel, as per usual. Suddenly, I realized that a man is standing outside my window, just a couple feet away from me, trimming the tree. I forgot the landscaper was coming today. We had this brief moment of acknowledging the fact that he shouldn't be seeing me and I sprang to close the blinds. Only a minute passed and I opened them back up.. I refuse to do my makeup under false lighting. The landscaper seemed confused.

Last story. Cockroaches in Arizona aren't like cockroaches everywhere else. Down here they waltz into houses during the day and delight in showing themselves to humans. A few days ago I found myself trapped in the kitchen with a cockroach at each exit. I'm not joking. I literally stood in the same spot for 20 minutes until my roommate got home and killed the cockroaches with her shoe. Her SHOE! They hissed.. it was awful.

AND scene.

Move Aside Snuggie...

2010-08-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

Snazzy Napper - watch more funny videos

Amanda

2010-08-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

You're one of the best things that ever happened to the Campbell family. I love you!

Happy Birthday!!

Let's go nuts

2010-08-19T12:23:00.000-07:00

The Awkwardness Ensues

2010-08-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the website Awkward Family Photos.. a gem of a website. I just had to post some of my favorites that give me reason to believe that more people ate paint-chips as children than I would care to imagine.

Update

2010-08-05T03:02:00.001-07:00

After ignoring my other blogs for months, I've finally posted. If you care to take a gander, please-- do enjoy!

The Disambiguous

Paraphernalia

Why Don't I Share Food?

2010-08-03T15:34:00.000-07:00

Because sometimes food is just too important to share:

Anna vs. the turkey

2010-08-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

Anna has this thing about turkeys.. she finds them anatomically disgusting. Everything about the outer appearance of the turkey upsets her greatly. Yesterday I received this text message from her:

"I just learned that the stupid hangy thing on a turkey's nose is called a "snood" and it is used for mating. How's that for ruining your Sunday?"

It actually made my Sunday.

Arizona Monsoon

2010-07-25T20:38:00.001-07:00

Photo found here

I welcome you with open arms.

Scrambled or Fried?

2010-07-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

Image found here

117 degrees is the predicted temperature in Phoenix tomorrow, and I'm expected to go on living.

Happy Birthday Allison!

2010-07-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Photo by Tim Walker

I sure do love you, and I'm so blessed to have shared all these years of friendship with you. I look forward to many, many more. Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Mallory!

2010-07-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

There's no one I'd rather "Perkisize" with than you, my dear friend. Happy Birthday!!

America is Beautiful

2010-07-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

And so are Her people.

A poem by one of my favorites: Langston Hughes

The Negro Speaks of Rivers

I've known rivers:

I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the flow

of human blood in human veins.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.

I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.

I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.

I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln went

down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy bosom turn

all golden in the sunset.

I've known rivers:

Ancient, dusky rivers.

My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

(1922)

MU$IC

2010-06-24T00:59:00.000-07:00

My friend Mallory and I recently had a magical conversation about the current music on the radio. We had a good laugh/grieving moment over the ridiculousness of the lyrics that own the airwaves. How neat-- that youngsters get this stuff pounded into their brains everyday. Enjoy these lyrics from actual songs that I snagged from itunes top 10:

Aint got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer

Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here

.. I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk...

California girls

We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
We'll melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

Hey, so I got a question
Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?
Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum
Is my love your drug? your drug?
Huh, your drug?
Huh, your drug?
Is my love your drug?

I said no more teachers and no more books
I got a kiss under the bleachers hopin' that nobody looked
Lips like licorice, tongue like candy
Excuse me miss, but can I get you out your panties?

i fell in love with shawty when i seen her on the dance floor
she was dancing sexy, pop, pop, popping, dropping, dropping low
never ever has a lady hit me on the first sight
this was something special ; this was just like dynamite

I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
buy all of the things I never had
uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
smiling next to Oprah and the Queen
..I’d probably pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt
and adopt a bunch of babies that ain’t never had sh-t
give away a few Mercedes like here lady have this

Anyway.. I just hope that good music and real artists don't die out before I do. To end on a good note, one of my favorites:

He climbed cathedral mountains, he saw silver clouds below
He saw everything as far as you can see.
And they say that he got crazy once
and he tried to touch the sun,
and he lost a friend but kept the memory.

Now he walks in quiet solitude
the forests and the streams
seeking grace in every step he takes.
His sight has turned inside
himself to try and understand
the serenity of a clear blue mountain lake.

-Rocky Mountain High, John Denver

Dad

2010-06-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I could have made it through these last 6 months without you.. I sure do love you Dad! Happy Father's Day!!

Oh for love of..

2010-06-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

Picture this:

I'm driving south on I-10 today, having a great time listening to music and blasting the AC on high.. my car has proved to be a haven for staying cool. So I'm driving along and some guy driving in front of me rolls down his window and launches something into the wind. It blows back and hits my windshield.. oh look, an Arby's bag. Really, guy?! Really?

Garbage.

Who are these people that have no moral compass that should say "Hey, maybe don't throw that out the window.."? Where do these people come from? Are they the same people who leave grocery carts in the parking lot? When I see just 1 shoe in the road, does it belong to them? The Starbucks cups floating in the gutter. Chewed gum on the walls. Toilet paper on the ground in the bathroom. Unflushed toilets. Popcorn on the floor in movie theaters. Skittles between the seats of a rental car. Dried boogers under a desk at school. Stinky refrigerators.. the list could go on.

Anyway.. what I originally intended to blog about: Teen Broadway Camp 2010 at ASU.

You wouldn't believe the things I see walking around campus with this summer camp in action. It's like High School Musical times a billion. Today I was crossing the street with a group of 50 teenagers, all singing a medley of songs from Wicked. Arms flailing, dramatic pauses, for every 1 step taken forward-- 10 steps were taken back in dance movement.. it seriously took them forever to cross the street. I just remember thinking to myself "oh boy, I sure hope my children are normal." Maybe that's horrible to say, but really-- no Broadway Camp, not ever.

Sure made my day interesting though.

Hey!

2010-06-13T23:09:00.000-07:00

Name the most terrifying moment of your life so far: Earthquake at the Hotel del Coronado.. seriously scary. I'll never forget looking into Anna's eyes as we prepared for death.

If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book, who would it be? Hercule Poirot. I think we could solve so many crimes together. What a team!

Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with? Mallory Leale. I can almost guarantee a sock puppet show, followed by a round of 20 questions in Spanish (our best attempt), then maybe a dance party.. I can only assume a rapping and rhyming session would emerge at some point. "Hey what? We're stuck in an elevator? Fun!"

Least? Whoopi Goldberg. I'd say something about her upsetting outfit choices and she'd blame me for the oil spill in the Gulf.

List 5 people you know. Then describe each of them in 5 words:

Amanda: Contagious laughter, game nights, organized.

Laura: Pregnant, good advice, perfect toes.

Anna: Spiders make her upset, cheese.

Bryan: Runs fast, hilarious, opinions, fishing.

Cort: Cowboy, horses, laughing, BYU pants.

What was the most recent movie that made you cry? Karate Kid (the new one). I cried in every scene, just too cute.

If you could be any age again for one week, what age would you be? Eh... I don't think I would. I'd rather not relive any awkward stages.

You can cast any actor now alive to play you in a film about your life. Whom would you cast in the role? A mix of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tina Fey, and Kanye West.. it really would make so much sense.

If you could have one superpower, which would you choose? Incredible strength. I would lift heavy things above my head all the time.

You can choose your method of dying and the place in which you will die. Where would you like to die and how? In a posh hotel room, wearing a robe, and during nap-time after a having a perfect but poisonous lunch.

You can choose your last meal. What will the menu consist of? A really, really good sandwich with a sliced tomato on the side. Also, warm cookies and milk.. I'm assuming this is my poisonous lunch?

If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose? Sabrina the Teenage Witch.. magical powers, a cute boyfriend and high school popularity, hello!

If you joined the circus, what act would you most want to perform? I have always had this secret dream of being in the circus. I'd be the girl that rides the elephants and slides down their trunks. Neat!

TAG! to anyone who needs something to blog about.

How are you even a thing?!

2010-06-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to begin with this topic so I'll just dive on in to what's offending me these days...

FLIES!!!!!!!

Oh my freaking heck they are everywhere. I don't know if it's because the temperature is climbing higher and higher each day until Arizona explodes---maybe the flies need air conditioning too? Who knows. But seriously, daily I'm finding flies in places that no fly has business being: my makeup box, in my socks, relaxing on my pillow, hovering over my food, sitting on top of my water bottle as if it were his.. Disgusting.

The thing that upsets me most is that I really truly work so hard at making sure that my room and bathroom are spotless. I clean the already clean. Then boom, flies. Flies are the criminals among insects-- the terrorists, swindlers, bums, heroin addicts, wife beaters, Kathy Griffins, skinheads, dare I say rapists-- of the bug world. Get out of here. Scram.

The daily agenda of a fly: touch everything and be gross.

I tolerate most insects, in fact I have a pretty hard time killing most (I swear that if you lean in while smashing a bug you can hear their last breath). These days I'm going out of my way to kill flies, I'm hunting them. Oh but they aren't hard to find, not with an ugly mug like this:

Beat it!

Summer School

2010-06-04T08:48:00.001-07:00

So far, so good.

Yesterday (in an earnest attempt to learn about curriculum development) a classmate and I became distracted and plotted world domination instead.

I think we figured it out:

Oh Anna

2010-05-21T17:37:00.000-07:00

Quite often Anna and I pretend to be everyday, stereotypical people and make comments that those particular people would make. You know the types I'm talking about: sporty, French, controversial, nervous, sales people etc. Today we were in the car and Anna pretended to be a person who is really into cars-- and this is what she said:

"Dude, I really want one of those sweet-a$$ Porsche-Camaros."

I don't know very much about cars, but I do know that a Porsche and Camaro are two separate cars, not one singular vehicle. Oh Anna.

AZ

2010-05-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

It's been so nice coming home over my school break, believe me--much needed! Surprisingly though, I find myself missing my new home more than anticipated. I think I've especially become attached to the wildlife and the time I get to spend outside, I love it. My new goal is to finally have a face-to-face encounter with one of these guys:

His name is Javelina Pig, notorious for being sneaky and FAST. I almost saw one a few weeks ago but only managed to catch his shadow. I look forward to the day when I can post a photo of the two of us shaking hands and agreeing on something, probably how unnaturally blonde my eyebrows are becoming (ugh). Anyway, I'll get some good landscape painting in this summer, perhaps we'll meet then.

So basically I never thought I'd say this--but I kind of miss you Arizona.

Really?!

2010-05-14T23:59:00.001-07:00

See how long you can last watching this clip before you start to feel awkward...

Eye see you...

2010-05-11T15:43:00.000-07:00

Today I escorted Anna on her trip to the eye doctor. She put up a pretty good fight in the doctor's office just like a cat at the vet-- resisting everything the doctor brought toward her face. Turns out she needs contact. You heard me right, just one contact lens. Here's a picture of her sporting those really neat plastic sunglasses the eye doctor provides upon departure:

I felt like I was driving around Ray Charles, she was singing the whole way home.

Mom

2010-05-09T17:58:00.000-07:00

You're a wonderful mother and my best friend, I love you. Happy Mother's Day!

Hello!

2010-05-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

Now I'm not one to set major goals for the new year, in fact--I kind of feel like we should be setting new goals every day, but at the beginning of January I was a sucker and set two major goals:

1. Remember to put on deodorant everyday.

2. Learn how to moonwalk.

I have followed through with both and now I can do them simultaneously. So if you're interested and the right conditions are provided, I can demonstrate this.

Also, I'm coming home this weekend all the way until June and I can't wait. The first thing I'm going to do is follow my parents around like a 5 year old until they remind me I'm 23, then I'll force Anna to hang out with me and tell me what is cool these days, then possibly try perform some magic to make Utah warm again...it's the least I can do.

See you soon, some of you!

Beware the desert..

2010-05-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

Every night around 2am I hear the same noise outside my window: a strange, high-pitched gurgling of the throat followed by what I can only describe as robotic bleeps . I'm assuming this creature is some evolved form of a nocturnal lizard that makes his way out of the rocks and into the moonlight to parade around in all his glory, terrifying me in the process.

As logical as I try to keep this scenario in my head, I can't help but delve into the thoughts of the extra terrestrial and paranormal. Don't get me wrong, I'm well aware that the desert is brimming with bizarre creatures that only come out at night and make insane noises, and yes--most likely this thing is a lizard of some kind. However, late at night the desert can be extremely eerie, and this is the vision that comes to mind when I hear the noise:

Taunting me with math.

Happy Birthday Dad!

2010-05-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

You simply are the best.

Today at school...

2010-04-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

In my SED 501--Effective Instruction class, I received this little handout from my behind-the-times professor:

*Side note: My biggest fear is finding myself actually using these...

SED 501--Humorous Responses to Inappropriate Behavior

Talking Outbursts

- Whoa there turbo!

- Cool your jets!

- Your conversation will not be on the test.

- Save it for the slumber party, ladies. (my personal favorite)

Vulgar Language

- That word describes your mouth.

- You must be describing yourself.

- If this were a TV show, you would be kicked off the air. (got em!)

- Would you kiss your mother with that mouth?

- Do you really want that? (hmm...what?)

- You have 30 minutes to think about what our conversation is going to be like after class.

Humor Not Appropriate for:

- Cheating. (oh, ok)

Dress Code Violations

Ladies

- Aren't you cold in that outfit?

- Where's the rest of your pants, shirt?

Guys

- Is your head cold? (referring to hats...I assume)

- Why are your pants falling down?

- There is a reason they call it underwear!

Gum or Food

- You're not Mary Kate--you don't need to eat right now. (this one blew my mind)

- You don't need to eat every two hours, you are not an infant.

- If that's not takeout--it is now.

Restroom Overuse

- Did you take a shower in there?

- Are you texting in there, or do you need a kidney transplant? (what if they d0?)

Cell Phones

- I have always wanted one of those!

- What will your mom say when she has to come down to the office to pick up your cell phone?

Tardies

- ...that is the only question on the test, but don't repeat it... (!)

- Thank you for gracing us with your presence!

Cell Phones Going Off

- That had better be God calling.

- It must be the "clue" phone going off. (I don't get this one)

- Are you waiting for a heart transplant?

Whining

- I hate me too, let's just get over it...

- Violins, please!

- Should I call you a waa-mbulence?

Ask you to spell a word

- Spell "dictionary."

PDA

- Do you need some time alone?

- You can get his number after class.

- Do I need to get a hose? (...ugh)

- Cool your jets, please.

No Homework

- Should I put the summer school schedule on the board?

- Maybe this will be easier for you next year when you take this class again.

Throwing Things

- You are not drooling, are you? (I don't understand this one either)

- Clean the floor after class.

- Do the Dodgers know about you?

- The penalty for that is cleaning off the gum under all the desks.

Sleeping

- Let them sleep through the bell.

- Loudly slam a book right next to them.

Inside is just everything: lights, psychos, ferbies, screaming babies in Motzart wigs...

2010-04-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

This little SNL clip made me laugh harder than I've laughed in a long time. We've all met someone like "Stefon," most likely by way of public transportation. This guy portrays him perfectly, dead on.

The Weekend...

2010-04-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

I thought Friday would never come, honestly. So in celebration of the much needed weekend--I'm posting this:

Enjoy.

There's no way that guy survived.

Mallory

2010-04-21T15:18:00.001-07:00

I don't even know how to begin to write a post about my friend Mallory...the more appropriate thing to do would be to ski down the entirety of Mt. Everest in a gold jumpsuit, sparklers, and holding a poster that says "Mallory is #1!"

But seriously, she is.

I received a care package from her the other day and this was one of the many delightful surprises found inside:

(The two of us having a picnic on what appears to be Mt. Doom.)

This little gem is just one of the many great things I love about Mallory. But even more than her depictions of us doing normal things in an unrealistic setting, I cherish her humor. I wish the world could know Mallory. Probably one of the most entertaining things to do is to sit down and watch a movie with her. Instantly everything ridiculous and hilarious in a movie becomes apparent and the world makes sense.

It's possible that Mallory has the oldest soul in the world and pretty much understands how things are supposed to be.

If ever there is anything funny, confusing, outrageous, nerdy, awesome, or (insert any word), I always go to Mallory. She just gets it.

Anyway Mal, you're just too good of a friend to be true. I love you!

3.5 hours South...

2010-04-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

This past weekend one of my dearest friends, Brittany, flew down for a visit. We spent some of our time in Tombstone. For those of you not familiar with the town of Tombstone--basically it's an old western town that was once frequented by wild frontiersmen such as Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, and many other famous folk of the past. Luckily this town still thrives, mostly due to tourism and odd ducks like Brittany and me who think this stuff is great.

Our hotel (haunted, won't stay there again).

The many colorful signs of Tombstone

The men of Tombstone

Exploring the town

The Birdcage Theatre

Saloons still going strong

Supposed to be participating in ghost investigation at OK Corral...but playing around instead.

The remainder of our time spent at the pool and exploring Native American territory.

See how much fun we could have if you visited!

Do come.

The Devil Has a Face...

2010-04-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

Dummy (my roommate's cat) decided that today was the day he would show his face for longer than 0.5 seconds; long enough for me to capture this photo.

This weekend...

2010-04-12T17:34:00.001-07:00

Tombstone, AZ

Really?

2010-04-10T01:56:00.000-07:00

Okay...no. Take a look at this:

I already have issues with big Hollywood blockbuster films, and this movie poster explains it all. Come on! Really? Look at his hair, so chic. And his armor...oh the armor. I'm pretty sure a bazillion leather straps up and down your arm and a random red scarf won't save you in battle. Anyway, Jake Gylleemu will always look a like a child to me.

Good News

2010-04-07T20:50:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to report that this sweet sister is having a baby BOY in August. Can't wait to be an aunt again!

Bajada Trail

2010-03-29T12:40:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been buried with school work and an internship, so I decided it'd be a great idea to take a much needed hike through the hills of the South Mountain Park Reserve:

All of the wild flowers are in full bloom since the past month was rain, rain, and more rain.

I love this picture below...so desert-y.

I found a ghost town along the way.

I imagined the killer from No Country For Old Men appearing in my rearview mirror and I started freaking myself out too much that I had to leave.

Once Upon a Time in Laveen, AZ

2010-03-26T15:06:00.001-07:00

Today I drove through a largely Mexican-run town of Arizona and nearly ran over a Chiuaua... one of the more cliche moments I've had since last week when I saw some polygamists at IFA.

I Refuse.

2010-03-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

I am highly intolerant of two things:

1. Saxophones

2. Bowling

I'm going to touch on the subject of bowling for a sec. Ugh....why is bowling such a beloved American activity? I cringe at the thought and here's why:

-Bowling shoes: gross, sweaty, no traction, never the right size, ugly.

-Confusing scoring system: what the what?

-The physical act of bowling: people watching you waddle/speed walk up to a line and violently hurl a heavy ball across the most slippery surface known to man. 80% of the people bowling are overweight...it's not a nice thing to see in action.

-Noise: Lots of stopping, clapping, and crashing all around you followed by words like "Snap!" and "Booyah!"

-Pride: The sense of accomplishment bowlers seem to feel for knocking over some pins.

-Dancing: Nope, gross. Stop dancing when you get a strike.

-Personalized equipment: Those people who have their own bags and bowling balls, they kill me.

...and the absolute #1 worst thing of all:

-The glove: You don't need a glove to bowl, no need. Super creepy. Those who wear bowling gloves are sure to commit murder in said glove.

Don't agree with me?

Just watch this little prize of a 1980s bowling tournament for a moment...or the whole thing. You may see what I see.

The only thing to make this worse would be a saxophone player in the background. Don't even get me started on those guys and how they close their eyes when playing the instrument.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2010-03-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Out of the smoke rose an Irish legend.

A legend who danced his way into all our hearts;

Leather.

Michael Flatley wishes everyone a magical St. Patrick's Day.

To Laura:

2010-03-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

I love you dearly sister, Happy Birthday!

Dear Scottsdale AZ boys,

2010-03-06T14:45:00.000-08:00

If I see one more of you dressed like this:

or this:

in these:

...and most especially, driving this:

I will start dating women.

E.T.

2010-03-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

Few people know of my feelings for E.T.

I'm drawn in and interested but at the same time extremely terrified-- like eating yogurt or watching Oprah.

This old commercial about E.T. toys surfaced so many emotions:

(the last 5 seconds are really upsetting).

Happy Birthday Gracie-Girl!

2010-02-27T16:42:00.000-08:00

Photo by Amanda Campbell

To a sweet little girl with a smile that melts the heart.

Toolbag

2010-02-24T11:52:00.000-08:00

Just about every day that I'm in class at least one of my instructors manages to spend a good deal of time wasting time. This video was shown yesterday during a discussion about making classroom content exciting and attention grabbing. Why this video was part of the curriculum-- I still don't know. There are so many things I could say about this...ugh, just watch:

*watch the first minute or two then skip to 13:30.

Notice his cummerbund and bow tie have numbers on them. Also, the random display of computers in the background so we know this is serious.

PARKEHARRISON

2010-02-22T13:10:00.001-08:00

If you like environmentally aware art, surrealism and manipulated photography-- you may like Robert and Shana Parkeharrison.

I happen to love them.

Dummy

2010-02-10T17:14:00.000-08:00

In a previous post I briefly mentioned a new source of distress in my life: my roommate's cat.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I dislike this cat. This is coming from a girl who, on any given day, has been known to drop by an animal shelter or pet store just to visit with any ol' Rufus or Buddy. I love animals, I hate this cat.

I started out calling it "kitty" as a term of endearment. Rejected. I then moved onto "cat" as a way of showing respect. Denied. I now call it "dummy" or "idiot," even sometimes "horse face." No matter what I call this thing it remains aloof and devious.

The first few weeks of living with it I attempted to be friendly, but every time I crouch down and offer my hand in peace it bolts like a bat out of hell. The one time I got close enough to pet it-- it hissed and I didn't see it for 5 days; however, it did leave a little kitty present of poop in front of my bathroom.

The other night I heard it breathing against my door with it's ridiculous, congested nose. Sniffing and judging. Night after night it returns, waits, and listens. Why? What have I done? Aside from calling it a few choice words and snapping at it with my fingers I've graciously rearranged my life so that we don't cross paths. I only go downstairs to do my laundry if I know this thing has already eaten. I won't use the stairs unless I'm sure it's somewhere...not on the stairs. I even skirt around all it's millions of stupid cat toys so as to not upset the balance in this thing's life.

Ugh, Nerd!

I'm done.

Arizona

2010-02-07T19:14:00.000-08:00

Photo by Mike Tennant

This past weekend my lovely sisters made their way out of the cold and down to sunny AZ.

Some highlights: laying by the pool, shopping, Pita Jungle (sorry Ashley), visiting family, climbing Camelback, celebrating Anna's birthday (Happy 19th!), watching Modern Family, relishing in the sun, and just being with with Laura and Anna--they make life fun. I love you both!

So yeah, Arizona. I think I should speak some words on my new State of residence.

Here are the things I thus far appreciate about Arizona:

1. The Sun and It's healing qualities.

2. Pleasant smells (I'm pleased 98% of the time).

3. The sound of Coyotes at night.

4. All varieties of Cacti.

5. Clean air.

6. Aunt Stacey and Uncle Dave who are making this transition easier.

7. Scottsdale Fashion Center (sometimes I end up there without remembering leaving my apartment).

8. I've seen more than one Black person.

9. Enzo's Gelato Bar (flavor of choice: pistachio).

10. The University 1st Ward and the fact that everyone attempts to meet one another and doesn't pretend that church is high school. Finally!

11. Really neat sunsets.

12. ASU--for making me laugh at myself and others.

13. Well organize roads and nice big street signs.

14. And finally, the gentleman at McDonald's who gave me a free Diet Coke.

But please don't tell Utah, she's still my #1 and might get jealous.

Riding in cars with strangers

2010-02-02T23:44:00.000-08:00

I have evening classes this semester and I don't usually get out until around 10:30 pm. I also park really far away from campus, out near some train tracks and an abandoned warehouse (it's a long story why I have to park there) anyway, not the best situation for a child-sized gal like me that speed walks faster than she runs.

So lately I've turned into a little social butterfly in an attempt to get rides from my schoolmates to my car parked way the heck out in Gotham City.

I sure do seem to ask the most interesting people in my classes. I've already gotten a lift from not one--but two practicing Wiccans, a classmate's teenage son and his girlfriend, an alcoholic, a girl who was on So You Think You Can Dance, someone with the last name Lubck (don't know how that's possible), and the list of bizarreness goes on.

The best part of this whole thing is how I end up asking for rides, convincing the driver that it was their idea.

Example: walking out of class I asked Gloria if she knew if the buses were running this late.

Gloria: "I don't know...why? Do you park very far?"

Me: "Oh, well kind of but hey, it's a great workout!"

Gloria: "But it's so late and dark."

Me: "Just reason to walk faster haha!"

Gloria: "Uh no, you're coming with me."

Me: "No, I couldn't. It's probably out of your way."

Gloria: "No I don't care, I'm driving you."

Me: "Well this is just so nice of you, thanks!"

Done and done.

Mom and Dad don't worry, I've got it all under control. Luckily I keep forgetting deodorant so if anyone came within 5 feet of me and I began to perspire...we'd all lose.

Oh and we watched this little treat in class:

You really only need to see the first 30 seconds to get what it's all about, but skip ahead to 6:10 and it comes full circle.

New Name

2010-01-27T10:43:00.000-08:00

Apparently my name is entered in ASU's database as Amu Campbell.

All of my instructors are attempting to memorize names based off of the database information-- so it's a real treat for me whenever I'm called on.

"Amu...is it? Well let's hear what you think about this chapter..." Real treat.

Even after I've corrected Amu to Amy it doesn't matter, I'm still Amu at the end of the day.

Typical

2010-01-25T14:59:00.000-08:00

Today I noticed a fire truck and an ambulance at the elementary school playground across from my apartment. I, of a curious nature, headed over to see what had happened, who was hurt...etc.

Nope.

Just the local firemen and male EMTs having a shirtless game of soccer. It was hilarious, just like you'd imagine. All of them attractive, strong, tan, sweating..I had to laugh.

I also stayed and watched for a little bit.

A Few Funny Things

2010-01-22T17:10:00.000-08:00

I'm still in complete shock over my move to Arizona and a quick start to school and when I'm suddenly thrown into new situations and presented with decision making my mind tends to think outrageously and irrationally.

I think I mentioned in my last post about writing a $20,000.00 check and wandering aimlessly through strange cities...that's just a small sample, it gets better--Today I walked into the men's bathroom.

Here's what happened: Taking in the confusion of the day and needing to relieve myself of the gallon of water I chugged that morning, I headed for the bathrooms in the Union building. Without really considering my surroundings I first open what I think is the women's bathroom door and found it to be a janitors closet. I laughed at myself and turned to see if anyone saw me do this, a few people sitting at tables did. Still laughing, I head for the door adjacent noticing the universal bathroom stick figure."Ah, the bathroom" I said to myself. In I walked and of course there are a couple of guys at a urinal and another washing his hands. Wide-eyed, I apologized and headed back out. Same people who saw me open the janitors closet were waiting for me when I got out...also very wide-eyed.

Yay for graduate school!

Side note: I'm at war with my roommate's cat. It only makes itself known to me when nighttime comes around but always in the creepiest way possible. Out of the shadows I'll hear a hiss and see gleaming eyes dart past me and disappear somewhere...watching. I sleep with my bedroom door locked but still lay awake in fear that he'll pick it with his dew claw and smother me in my sleep. The other night I got up to go to the bathroom and came back out to find a bag strategically placed outside the door and near the stairs. I'm convinced the cat placed it there hoping I'd trip and tumble down the stairs.

Well that's it for now.

First Day of Classes

2010-01-20T20:06:00.000-08:00

12:00 pm: Feeling cute, wearing a new sweater. Due to lack of parking on campus I park in downtown Tempe-- a 15 min walk to class. I don't mind, I like walking.

12:15 pm: Arrive on campus, overheated. Sweater was a bad decision.

12:16 pm: Take in the environment: Billions of young people in shorts yelling things like "party!" and "dance!"...I'm being dramatic, probably seeing things through the eyes of heat exhaustion.

12:20 pm: Walk into the bookstore.

extremely crowded

12:20:10 pm: Walk back out.

12:30 pm: Decide to get my ID card.

Forget to go fix myself in the mirror. This happens:

*I know it doesn't really look that bad right here but you should see it in person, my cheeks are red and I'm definitely cross-eyed. Really, it's something special.

12:40 pm: Walk over to Jamba Juice and order a carrot/orange juice. Employees all seem to find it super hilarious that I like "grandma juice" and switch their language over to Spanish so I can't understand.

12:45 pm: Employee making my drink complains about the amount of time it takes to juice a carrot. I didn't care.

12:50-2:55 pm: Wander around sweating in my nice sweater.

3:00-4:00 pm: Institute. A girl wearing all denim volunteers to conduct. First, she speaks longer than acceptable about the Masters program she is in and then asks the class to share their favorite Book of Mormon story to their neighbor. Nobody participates. Denim girl turns to me and asks me to speak up on behalf of everyone... to this I reply by waving my hand in refusal.

4:10 pm: Step outside to a surprising and violent downpour of rain.

Run to next class.

4:30-7:30 pm: Drenched, I sit through Intro to Effective Instruction.

7:35 pm: Attempt to run through the rain to buy an umbrella. I'm too scared and don't make it.

7:40-10:30 pm: Sit through Content Area Literacy. Disagree with everything and get in an argument with the professor. Awesome.

10:35 pm: Work up the courage to walk 15 minutes in a torrential storm, sans umbrella, to my car.

Water up to my ankles, literally.

Can't see where I'm going and get seriously lost.

Car splashes me with mud (just like in the movies. In fact I said that out loud to myself).

Dark

Very cold.

10:40 pm: Girl spots me from across the street, asks me if I want a ride to my car. I don't hesitate to say yes.

Sitting in Alika's car.

Alika pulls out a car breathalyzer ignition interlock. This means she's been convicted of multiple DUIs and in order to start her car she has to pass a self-conducted breathalyzer test.

While her car takes 10 minutes to start up she tells me about her prison adventures and we listen to underground hip hop. Frankly, I'm terrified.

11:00 pm: Make it to my car. Completely soaked, confused, and tired.

Looking back it's funny/sad/typical of what my first day of school in a strange town would be.

The real incongruity here is what I'm most concerned about at this point: my new sweater headed for the dry-cleaners.