1. Saxophones
2. Bowling
I'm going to touch on the subject of bowling for a sec. Ugh....why is bowling such a beloved American activity? I cringe at the thought and here's why:
-Bowling shoes: gross, sweaty, no traction, never the right size, ugly.
-Confusing scoring system: what the what?
-The physical act of bowling: people watching you waddle/speed walk up to a line and violently hurl a heavy ball across the most slippery surface known to man. 80% of the people bowling are overweight...it's not a nice thing to see in action.
-Noise: Lots of stopping, clapping, and crashing all around you followed by words like "Snap!" and "Booyah!"
-Pride: The sense of accomplishment bowlers seem to feel for knocking over some pins.
-Dancing: Nope, gross. Stop dancing when you get a strike.
-Personalized equipment: Those people who have their own bags and bowling balls, they kill me.
...and the absolute #1 worst thing of all:
-The glove: You don't need a glove to bowl, no need. Super creepy. Those who wear bowling gloves are sure to commit murder in said glove.
Don't agree with me?
Just watch this little prize of a 1980s bowling tournament for a moment...or the whole thing. You may see what I see.
The only thing to make this worse would be a saxophone player in the background. Don't even get me started on those guys and how they close their eyes when playing the instrument.
10 comments:
Bowling is great, I don't see why you and Anna hate it. I am making you come bowling next time you're in town.
I think that by far this is THE greatest thing I have ever read. Right from the beginning I knew this was going to be good. "1. Saxophones 2. Bowling." Pulled me right in. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. "...and the absolute #1 worst thing of all: THE GLOVE." How you come up with this I had no idea, but I absolutely love it! I read this to my roommate Janey(who you would love by the way) and by the end of it she told me to tell you that you are her hero. We were both laughing uncontrollably. Thank you so much for this.
p.s. I got 28 seconds into the video and then had to stop it. Woof.
Also I have to admit that I am guilty for being one of those people that dances when they get a strike. What can I say my hips don't lie. I don't even know if that made sense. meh.
Agreed. I think our hatred for the game stems from the time when we were forced into participating in off-track bowling activities in elementary. Remember pizza time and those tokens we got? I think you and I were the only ones who didn't enjoy it. Those days were rough.
I only watched 30 seconds. Once they replayed his bowl and the pins knocking over in slow motion, that was it. Of course you had to pick the 1980s video, when the man was sure to have a mustache and a tight shirt, nicknamed Rapey McStooge.
I'm not a huge fan of bowling, but have definitely danced. Please love me.
Jimmy asked for a bowling ball with his name on it for his birthday. I wouldn't get it, but it will probably happen one day.
Oh, my gosh. The video. The beatles hair. The gold chain. Reading and gymnastics? Wow. I watched pro bowling and pro billiards the day I was high on Mucinex and it made it ten times better.
Oh, Amy. How I love you! This is great.
By far the best segment to watch = 0:50 to 0:58.
His little anticipatory hops and then his dejectedness.
Great way to start my morning, thanks...
THe thing I love most about bowling is that those professional bowlers seem to think they have a "SKILL" and that they are good. When a five year old child can push the ball down the lane and knock down the same amount of pins as the 'professional' I would say that this proves there is no skill involved in bowling.
Stop it, you love bowling.
My favorite part - beside the mustachioed guy's ballerina like delivery - is where the commentator says "He's going to go for it!!". Don't you kind of have to anyway?
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