Oh and while reading through my travel journal recently I came upon the few pages I documented of Anna and I in Maine this past summer. I recall this special quote of Anna reacting to the overwhelming amount of angry mostquitos and flies, she said this with conviction: "EVERYTHING JUST HAS TO BACK AWAY FROM ME RIGHT OKAY!!!"
A few seconds after that I came in with a: "Son of a ***** they're everywhere!"
We ran--slapping the air with a vindictive fury that mother nature never saw coming.
--I can't figure out the age of this child in the saddle.
"Cry No More"
--This one I like purely for the anatomically correct illustration.
Visit the Patently Absurb Archive for more incredible inventions. And if I've learned one thing...it's this: Absolutely Anyone can invent Anything and someone will give it a patent.
Yesterday I was in the car listening to the classical station when one of the radio guys with a voice to match that of a peeping-tom came on and proceeded to tell us listeners why we should support and donate to 89.1. This is how he sold it:
"Imagine this: Imagine that you wake up in the morning and Johann Sebastian Bach is holding your hand, greeting you with the morning light. Just imagine. Imagine a Mister Franz Joseph Haydn pouring you a bowl of cheerios, and some milk. Further imagine yourself delighted with the presence of Beethoven who--while driving you to work--decides to pull over and tickle your senses with a bold virtuoso. While at work you notice that Schubert has made you lunch and it's more than you could have ever asked for. After a long day of work you come home to Johann Nepomuk Hummel pouring you a glass of wine and "V"olfgang Amadeus Motzart rubbing your shoulders. Imagine all those things and more, this is Classical 89.1."
I closed my eyes, dropped my head, and longed for the return of my innocence.
*The end of the interview really spirals out of control.
P.S. Let's stop naming our pets "Lucky." What does this even mean? He's lucky to be a turtle with coasters for feet? I bet he chewed off his own feet listening to his owner speak.
I always: Make my bed, priority #1.
I like: Morbid things. Guilty.
I never leave home without: A comb and sanitary wipes in my purse.
I can't believe I: Attempted a fight club at a local gym...oh my small bones and muscles.
I melt: Cheese--on everything despite my intolerance to lactose.
I find myself: Using my art degree.
I feel uncomfortable: In clothes.
I have decided: That anyone can get away with almost anything if they are attractive.
I am free when: I go on walks with my mom, we are good walking buddies.
I can cry: When Pam Bishop gives me a hug, never fails.
I will: Probably eat a tomato and chicken today as per usual.
I dream of: Egypt and shaking a mummies hand.
I am digging: Myself into holes and corners in the singles ward. You've never seen anyone so awkward.
Most of the time I: Assume inanimate objects have feelings, truly.
I can't help: Over-washing my hands. It's a curse.
I remain enamored with: Space.
I can't: Swim in lakes, I just can't.
I need: To carry more cash in my wallet.
I want: To explore the underground catacombs in France, spooky!
It's strange that I: Refuse to wear earrings ever again. This is a guarantee.
If I could, I would: Learn to fly airplanes. I probably will someday.
I: Won't tolerate down town Salt Lake and I will not to go there after dark.
Speaking of blow pops, what was with the wrapper? It took ten years to remove it from the sucker so you could put the darn thing in your mouth and then the surprise was gum, GUM for crying out loud! Idiots.
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. He was about to. But his sister did.
Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all "B flat!"
"ARTIST CONVENTION PARKING ONLY. IF YOU AREN'T AN ARTIST--AND WE'RE GUESSING YOU ARE NOT--THEN WE WON'T LET YOU PARK HERE BECAUSE WE ONLY GIVE PARKING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE ARTSY AND WEAR SCARVES IN THE SUMMER. OH BY THE WAY WE RESERVED EVERY PARKING LOT FROM HERE TO DEER VALLEY SO DEAL WITH IT. ONE MORE THING, THE GUY IN THE ORANGE VEST MONITORING THE PARKING TAKES HIS JOB VERY SERIOUSLY AND WILL SHOOT YOU POINT BLANK IF NECESSARY."
My other favorite:
"$100,000,000.00 FINE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT PARKING IN PUBLIC PARKING WHERE THE PUBLIC IS ALLOWED TO PARK."
"30 SECOND PARKING ONLY."
Oh but I got them good, I did multiple illegal u-turns within the Park City boundaries...multiple.
Let me just tell you how excited I get about Ghost Hunters: You know that feeling you get right before you step on a ride at Disneyland? Or how about the excitement of seeing your food headed toward your table at a restaurant? All of these joyful feelings and more hardly compare to the geeky elation I feel right before a new episode of Ghost Hunters begins. To take it even further, I'll admit to having turned down dates in the past because they were on the same night as the show. I try not to do that anymore.
Indulge in my weirdness and watch this clip from one of the episodes. I want to share with you my love of all things paranormal and in this clip you'll learn the importance of the infrared camera during ghost hunting (stick it out until the end and you'll see a ghost).
Anna made these awesome candle holders. Her craftiness is comparable to Martha Stewart.
Also, here's a picture of Daisy when I brought her home from the vet after she had a minor claw removal surgery...if you can even call it that. However, I was so worried when I took her to the vet that I packed her a sack lunch with her favorite treats and believe me I was laughed at.