*Side note: My biggest fear is finding myself actually using these...
SED 501--Humorous Responses to Inappropriate Behavior
- Whoa there turbo!
- Cool your jets!
- Your conversation will not be on the test.
- Save it for the slumber party, ladies. (my personal favorite)
- That word describes your mouth.
- You must be describing yourself.
- If this were a TV show, you would be kicked off the air. (got em!)
- Would you kiss your mother with that mouth?
- Do you really want that? (hmm...what?)
- You have 30 minutes to think about what our conversation is going to be like after class.
Humor Not Appropriate for:
- Cheating. (oh, ok)
Dress Code Violations
- Aren't you cold in that outfit?
- Where's the rest of your pants, shirt?
- Is your head cold? (referring to hats...I assume)
- Why are your pants falling down?
- There is a reason they call it underwear!
Gum or Food
- You're not Mary Kate--you don't need to eat right now. (this one blew my mind)
- You don't need to eat every two hours, you are not an infant.
- If that's not takeout--it is now.
- Did you take a shower in there?
- Are you texting in there, or do you need a kidney transplant? (what if they d0?)
- I have always wanted one of those!
- What will your mom say when she has to come down to the office to pick up your cell phone?
- ...that is the only question on the test, but don't repeat it... (!)
- Thank you for gracing us with your presence!
Cell Phones Going Off
- That had better be God calling.
- It must be the "clue" phone going off. (I don't get this one)
- Are you waiting for a heart transplant?
- I hate me too, let's just get over it...
- Violins, please!
- Should I call you a waa-mbulence?
Ask you to spell a word
- Spell "dictionary."
- Do you need some time alone?
- You can get his number after class.
- Do I need to get a hose? (...ugh)
- Cool your jets, please.
- Should I put the summer school schedule on the board?
- Maybe this will be easier for you next year when you take this class again.
- You are not drooling, are you? (I don't understand this one either)
- Clean the floor after class.
- Do the Dodgers know about you?
- The penalty for that is cleaning off the gum under all the desks.
- Let them sleep through the bell.
- Loudly slam a book right next to them.