I'm one of those wacky individuals who, on the eve of my birthday, sets my alarm clock for 12am- midnight only to wake up and whisper "happy birthday" to myself. Actually no, I'm not that obsessed with being me. I just happened to have been born on the first day of October-- the greatest month of the year. So don't celebrate me, celebrate the month of the spooky, the changing of leaves, and for goodness sake-- the candy corn.
Now that I'm a year older, I feel that I've learned a few things:
1. There is no such thing as an endless supply of toilet paper under the sink, you actually have to go out and buy it.
2. You can pretty much get away with pretending to know anything as long as you talk with with scary, arched eyebrows and pound your fists on tables.
3. Even sticky notes on the mirror won't remind me to put on deodorant.
4. McDonald's employee, Jiminez, at the cross section of Chandler and Kyrene, will always give me a free diet coke. Sweet Jiminez.
5. Things like haircuts, waxes, and pedicures are no longer weekly rituals, but once a year luxuries.
6. Mom and Dad have been right all along.
7. Dating only continues to be more terrifying.
8. Where there's one gray hair atop thine head, thrice over t'will more spread.
9. If a British accent pops out unexpectedly while checking out at the grocery store, go with it-- and then walk it out. You're only human.
10. Scary movies are just as terrifying now as they ever were before. And yes, I'm talking about E.T.
11. Saturday Night Live gives better and more accurate news updates than actual news programs.
12. The 90s were as great as I thought they were.
...and finally:
13. Friends was never really that funny.
6 comments:
Pigs will fly the day you remember to wear deodorant.
One year older and smellier too.
I love you!
I want to live in a world where pedicures are a weekly ritual. Let's go back to that one together.
I hope when you blew out your candles on your birthday, you wished to live inside my head with me. I know that's what I wished for.
I love you.
I want to put you in my pocket and carry you with me everyday. Thank you for #13. Some people are always amazed when I tell them that I never watched friends and it's true it was never really that funny people. When your endless supply of toilet paper runs out you resort to stealing it from the student center. Guilty.
So many wonderful truths on this list it's ridiculous.
I hope your birthday was the grandest.
Friends is truly the dumbest show ever. Number 11 is spot on. SNL is more useful than Utah news.
OKAY. The thing I will never understand is how we have to have Mallory to bridge our friendship. I feel like you and I would get along great as actual friends.
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