10.14.2009

Why I Don't Do Haunted Houses

I don't know how I was talked in to going to a haunted house yesterday, but it happened.  I've managed to stay away from those kind of places my whole life until last night.  I love Halloween, in fact I adore it, but I tend to stay away from the disgusting side of Halloween that I knew would await me behind the Nightmare on 13th castle doors.

First mistake:  Deciding to wear all black in an attempt to blend in with the night and go unseen.  It doesn't work, in fact it made me more of a target if anything.

Second mistake:  Being child-sized, another major target.

Third mistake:  Accidently apologizing to anything that made me scream...I don't know why I did and it only encouraged worse behavior out of the employees.

Fourth mistake:  Breathing in the air.  I'm convinced I've picked up the first-ever airborne STD.

Fifth mistake:  Not having a fight or flight response when threatened...good news: instead, my defense is to freeze up and put my head down. 

Alls I knows is that my instinct about the haunted house craze is correct.  I'll stick to the children's Halloween. 

9 comments:

laura said...

i'm way too scared of haunted houses to go to them. i love everything else halloween though.

p.s. - i appreciate you being the only reader of my blog.

love you. xo.

Karli said...

I went to my first haunted house this year too... I hated it but kinda liked it at the same time. The MONSTERs in there are so freaky.

Anonymous said...

This is why we are soulmates.

You apologized...aahaha. You should have had R.L. Stine give you a pep talk before going. He'd let you in some good secrets.

Remember watching The Village in the theater? Pretty sure that was the last scary movie I ever watched. Just give me the Sanderson Sisters and Bill Pullman sucking cartoon ghosts into a vacuum.

Justin said...

+1000 points for Karli's subtle reference in her comment.

That was spectacular.

Amy said...

Haha, way to be clever Karli.

Sarah said...

at least you don't collapse and enter the fetal position like me. lets watch hocus pocus together.

The Campbells said...

Halloween Sucks.

Love Bryan

Anonymous said...

I end up laughing at the people who work at the haunted houses whenever I go. Why would you want to work there?

Ashley and Ezra said...

You are so funny! I too have decided (since highschool graduation) that I hate being scared! I really dont see the point in making myself have bad dreams at night, and not wanting to get out of bed to pee alone at night... Im over it! I would rather eat the candy, carve the pumpkins, and dress up in cute costumes than be apart of the horrible side of haloween! -There I said it!