Errands

The other day I made a quick trip to Target, the big one off of Fort Union. I couldn't find what I needed and so, as usual when I enter large stores, I became confused, scared and turned around. My first thought was to look for a Target helper, which means: look for someone in red. Apparently, in my mind, anybody--just anybody wearing red was a Target employee. With that thought in mind I had asked some random non-Target employee for help. This lady didn't inform me of my mistake so I managed to drag this poor woman all the way across the store away from her cart of things that I assumed was merchandise that needed shelving, it wasn't. She played her role well as fake employee. It took some time for me to put the puzzle pieces together but I finally did when I saw her again at the checkout line. All I can say is that it was awkward and out of awkwardness I tipped my imaginary hat at her in an attempt to apologize. She didn't get it, neither did I. Oh Amy.

Too much information

Everyone once in a while I forget to hook up my ipod in my car for listening pleasure. When this happens I'll usually turn to the classical station (89.1) because really, all other radio stations are embarrassing.

Yesterday I was in the car listening to the classical station when one of the radio guys with a voice to match that of a peeping-tom came on and proceeded to tell us listeners why we should support and donate to 89.1. This is how he sold it:

"Imagine this: Imagine that you wake up in the morning and Johann Sebastian Bach is holding your hand, greeting you with the morning light. Just imagine. Imagine a Mister Franz Joseph Haydn pouring you a bowl of cheerios, and some milk. Further imagine yourself delighted with the presence of Beethoven who--while driving you to work--decides to pull over and tickle your senses with a bold virtuoso. While at work you notice that Schubert has made you lunch and it's more than you could have ever asked for. After a long day of work you come home to Johann Nepomuk Hummel pouring you a glass of wine and "V"olfgang Amadeus Motzart rubbing your shoulders. Imagine all those things and more, this is Classical 89.1."

I closed my eyes, dropped my head, and longed for the return of my innocence.

Albi The Racist Dragon

Maybe it's because I'm up way past my bedtime, or maybe because clay animation instantly makes me hysterical with laughter (and hungry)....but I haven't laughed this hard in a long time:

Happy Birthday Bry (yesterday)

What a guy!
You really are the best brother Bryan, I love you!!!

The Todays Show Has Real News.

I don't think I've ever seen such an awkward interview as this:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

*The end of the interview really spirals out of control.

P.S. Let's stop naming our pets "Lucky." What does this even mean? He's lucky to be a turtle with coasters for feet? I bet he chewed off his own feet listening to his owner speak.

Tuesday morning:

I stole this from my cousin Jonathan's blog who stole it from our cousin Sarah:

I am inspired by: My siblings

I always: Make my bed, priority #1. 

I like: Morbid things.  Guilty.

I never leave home without: A comb and sanitary wipes in my purse.

I can't believe I: Attempted a fight club at a local gym...oh my small bones and muscles.

I melt: Cheese--on everything despite my intolerance to lactose.

I find myself:  Using my art degree.  

I feel uncomfortable: In clothes.

I have decided: That anyone can get away with almost anything if they are attractive.

I am free when: I go on walks with my mom, we are good walking buddies.

I can cry: When Pam Bishop gives me a hug, never fails.

I will: Probably eat a tomato and chicken today as per usual.

I dream of: Egypt and shaking a mummies hand. 

I am digging: Myself into holes and corners in the singles ward.  You've never seen anyone so awkward.

Most of the time I: Assume inanimate objects have feelings, truly.

I can't help: Over-washing my hands.  It's a curse.

I remain enamored with: Space.

I can't:  Swim in lakes, I just can't.

I need: To carry more cash in my wallet.

I want: To explore the underground catacombs in France, spooky!

It's strange that I: Refuse to wear earrings ever again.  This is a guarantee.

If I could, I would: Learn to fly airplanes.  I probably will someday.

I: Won't tolerate down town Salt Lake and I will not to go there after dark.

Technology & Me

Do you remember this guy?

His name is Teddy Ruxpin, a toy from the 80s. He came with a book that he read aloud while his mouth moved and his eyes blinked. I chose to ignore the cassett tape built into his back and the overwhelming electro-chemical smells fuming from his battery pack because to me he was completely alive. This was it for me--technology at its peak.

It's now 2009 and I have a huge technological dilemma, Facebook: to join or not to join?  Eh--I was a facebookee a couple of years ago but after many hours wasted on the egotistical network of self indulgence I cancelled my account and never looked back...until recently.  Obviously it's a great way to stay in contact with people you would otherwise never hear from, and where else would I find out that Anna bought the Queen Mary?  

The other thing is that I'm a Campbell and thus my pride overrules logic.  Of course I should just rejoin and be done with it but then people will say "hey I knew you'd come back," stuff like that.  This is what prevents me from joining more than anything.  

So I guess what I'm asking is this:  Is facebook really worth the effort and upkeep?  Does it really improve our lives?  Or maybe I'm just better off without it.  I've survived two years and I could keep going.  What I would give for my Teddy Ruxpin to come back to life and guide me through this world of invasive technological advances.  What say ye of facebook my faithful readers (meaning Mallory and Laura)?

Hold your horses.

Today I used a public restroom clearly marked "women."  I came out and a man asked me if anyone else was in there and proceeded to walk in despite my efforts to make clear that the men's bathroom was right in front of him.  I'm so confused.

A squirt of frosting down the throat helps to take your medication / In the most delicious way..

I highly dislike the color orange and I'm certain that it has to do with the fact that in my mind orange correlates directly with road construction.  Today while driving that was all I saw. Everywhere I looked I beheld an orange cone accompanied by a "slow" sign and arrows pointing me across all lanes of traffic to confront oncoming drivers equally enraged. Ridiculous.    

Why do we put up with this?  I'll tell you why: nobody ever questions or protests the orange cone.  In our world of dependancy on the law and politics most people never even stop and rethink why we do the things we do as a society.  I can almost guarantee that if I were to line a whole bunch of orange cones on a road leading off a cliff with arrows directing the way-- several cars would be at the bottom.  I recall an episode of The Office where Michael drives a car into a lake because his GPS car navigator tells him to do so.  Let's not be like Michael.  

I'm not suggesting that we break laws and run over orange cones (I'm not a criminal),  rather I'm suggesting that we evaluate why we follow certain orders and make sure that we aren't blindly led off cliffs or into lakes. 

Questions are a good thing and I don't ask nearly enough.

Happy Birthday Mom!

This woman is amazing.  

Thanks for all that you do Mom, I love you.

Technology & Me

Do you remember this guy?

His name is Teddy Ruxpin, a toy from the 80s. He came with a book that he read aloud while his mouth moved and his eyes blinked. I chose to ignore the cassett tape built into his back and the overwhelming electro-chemical smells fuming from his battery pack because to me he was completely alive. This was it for me--technology at its peak.

It's now 2009 and I have a huge technological dilemma, Facebook: to join or not to join?  Eh--I was a facebookee a couple of years ago but after many hours wasted on the egotistical network of self indulgence I cancelled my account and never looked back...until recently.  Obviously it's a great way to stay in contact with people you would otherwise never hear from, and where else would I find out that Anna bought the Queen Mary?  

The other thing is that I'm a Campbell and thus my pride overrules logic.  Of course I should just rejoin and be done with it but then people will say "hey I knew you'd come back," stuff like that.  This is what prevents me from joining more than anything.  

So I guess what I'm asking is this:  Is facebook really worth the effort and upkeep?  Does it really improve our lives?  Or maybe I'm just better off without it.  I've survived two years and I could keep going.  What I would give for my Teddy Ruxpin to come back to life and guide me through this world of invasive technological advances.  What say ye of facebook my faithful readers (meaning Mallory and Laura)?